• 2 weeks ago
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To: So, I share an amazing bond with a guy who happens to be my best friend’s boyfriend as well. Me: Years ago, I had a smilar connection with a woman, me being a man and this in a dating scene I was a large part of. It was as if I knew what she was thinking and it was amazing, yet there was no chemistry between us and she was already connected to a guy who owned property and she wanted the security that and him could provide, whereas I had nothing. While all of this was going on, he just could not connect with either of us, he just seemed to be blank and not understanding a thing. Eventually they left to pursue whatever course life took them and I’ve always regretted that I did not see her more.
I understand the link you have with this guy and in your case, it seems that you are in the same boat I was, back then. The problem is that 2 is company and 3 is a crowd, especially when she is the odd girl out and no matter how you or she approaches it, nothing is going to change as long as you remain connected with her guy in this offbeat way and you automatically undermine her relationship with him, because she sees you as a threat, no matter what she might say and she simply can’t compete and that places strain on her, doubts on his loyalty to her and mistrust towards you both for having secrets that she is not party too. I’m afraid, that with time, one of you 2 girls will have to drop out of your connection with this guy, or you might lose the friendship of the girl and gain the companionship and friendship of this guy and perhaps a relationship, because you are connected in ways that few, if anybody rarely is and that in itself is a wonderful thing.
Let me put that another way. Suppose you were in a relationship with him and trying to make it work and he and this other girl were having the connection which you speak of, but you were completely blank on what they had and you could not connect on any level, except sex with him, how would you feel? Tough one baby. Somone is going to get hurt. Your choice who that would be between you two girls. The guy is on the pig’s back and he is a winner whichever way the mug flops.
Best Wishes……………………

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