To: my family makes me feel like an awful person every time I try and tell them how I’m feeling.
Me: KMS or killing my self is not the answer and you should never think of it as a release from wherever you find yourself. The stress and pain and upset, you would leave if you KMS on those who remain would be very destructive and a wrong thing to even think of doing.
If you are going to get a negative reaction to anything you say or feel, why say anything at all and give them an excuse to bully you. Keep your thoughts to yourself and just answer yes, or no, to avoid any flare up which could upset you emotionally – and in this way, you won’t have any gaps in your Armour, where they can hook you and pull you in, for another ear bashing.
Family is only for a short time, in the scheme of things. Once you are old enough to leave home, do that and put some distance between yourself and them, so they can’t just “pop over” when the mood takes them.
If they contact you via iphone, just minimize whatever replies you give, so that they can’t get at you later on – rearrange your life to accommodate your needs and if you need to vent, you can always do it here and nobody will be any the wiser, but if you need my support, I will try to give you an anonymous reply, like this one, just to let you know you are not alone and I care and you matter. OK?
