I am almost 49 years old and I long for a father. The truth is I am gay and my biological father is still alive. I didn’t know I have a father til I was nine years old. We never bonded, in a way that I see my male friends bond with their sons. I long for a father. A strong, handsome, fit Caucasian father figure. I see middle-aged strong men around me. I fantasized about sexual with them. Sleeping with them and making love to them. I want to be held tight by these loving father figures. I want to feel protected. This is different than other gay relationships I have been in. Is there a man out there that could help me heal the inner boy in me and find closure to this longing? Am I the only gay man who feels like this? I have researched in to this and it appears others have the similar longing. To all you father figures out there – love your sons. Hold them. Protect them. Straight or gay, don’t let your sons go through life wondering what it is like to have a father.