A bit over a month ago, I was hospitalized twice for trying to commit suicide because the girl who I thought was the love of my life broke up with me. I have been trying to turn things around and have started taking better care of myself mentally and physically. Even though I should focus on myself, I just can’t help but want to be in a relationship with a girl, so I can love her and get married. That’s really what I want most in life, to be loved by a woman and be married to her. I know a lot of people don’t believe in marriage and I respect that, I just want to be with someone who I can be happy with forever, you know? I can elaborate more, tell me how you feel.
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Sorry to hear that…
It’s okay, I just posted it because I’m feeling especially lonely right now and I thought that letting it out a bit would help.
Are you an adolescent?
I’m 19, i’m in my second year of university.
Me too! Well, at least you’re at University; you have future prospects. (If AI doesn’t take your job.)
Oh yeah? That’s pretty cool, I could really use more friends. Since all of things happened, my two only friends here at university (one of them being my roommate and the other being my now ex) I don’t speak to anymore. I don’t talk to my ex because she’s toxic, and my roommate doesn’t respond to my texts, I had to move out after what happened since my ex lived in my dorm only a few doors down, and he seems to have taken her side.
What is your major?
International Studies, and I’m minoring in History.
Oh, that sucks! Not your major or minor, but that your ex was toxic. It can take a long time getting over what toxic people put you through, but I’m glad you got away from her.
Yeah, she kinda told me to kill myself a couple times and she REALLY hated my family for whatever reason. Surprisingly enough, she was the one who broke up with me, and even though I was so terribly heart broken enough to want to kill myself, I have realized now that she was the reason that I was having mental issues while I was with her.
That’s unfortunate; my sister killed herself 2 years ago; she was abused by her boyfriend.
That’s awful, she never hit me but she was very verbally abusive to me, and I can understand how it feels when someone tells you to kill yourself, or that you are incapable of love. It is one of the worst things someone can experience, I am so sorry for your loss.
People like her cause all kinds of stress in our lives, which is why we think we have mental issues when we’re around them. Even though it hurts a lot when the relationship breaks up, we’re so much healthier in the long run, and it’s like we feel good and free at the same time.
Thank you. Well, at least you still have a family, right?
That is plenty true. After I had gotten over everything that happened I felt as light as a feather, she was what weighed me down, and it felt amazing being free from her. It’s just that right now I’m sitting alone in my dorm room wishing I had company, and I know that it might not be what I need right now, but I want to be with someone, you know?
Well, what do you want me to tell you? A screen is not a human being, typed words are silence, and my problems are much more permanent than yours. I hope your experience
Yeah I still have family, and they have been very supportive of me through all of this.
… teaches you compassion.
Yeah, I understand. I’m in a very very privileged position, it’s just that after that relationship and being so terribly in love, it’s just something I can’t help but feel. I’m sorry to hear that your problems are worse, I’m just trying to not fall back into that pit of self hate and harm.
You probably know this, but for someone to truly love you, you have to love yourself first. Now, I don’t mean that you should be narcissistic, arrogant, brag about yourself, or feel superior to everyone. What I mean is that you have to take care of yourself (which you’re doing, and that’s great!), acknowledge the good qualities in you and all your achievements so far, and do the things you like doing. I’m glad you’re going to Uni, and like the person above me said, you have prospects. Continue going down the road you’re on. Someday, she’ll come along. 🙂
I sure do hope so, thank you for the encouraging words! It really means a lot to feel cared about. 🙂
You’re welcome! Good luck. 🙂
You too! <3
Thanks for the encouraging words, as much as I know I should focus on myself, I just can’t help what I’m feeling and what I want.
This is such a wholesome post. First of all, thank god you’re taking care of yourself and I hope you get even better even sooner. Life gives many opportunities and whatever happens happens for a reason. And about all the replies I’ve read, I wish you all good things – just the best things – in the future. We all feel lonely from time to time, some for longer and some for just a while. While an online connection of strangers is a sweet fairytale, I suggest you should also find real people you know around you to fill in the gaps. There’s billions of people on this planet. You’ll find someone. Again all the best dudes and dudettes!
Thanks, I know I gotta find more people, it’s just hard because I’m shy and awkward. I want more real friends, I just have to go out and find them. Thank you again for your encouraging words 🙂