At least twice a month since I was 7 and realized my parents hated me and no one else much liked me, I’ve fantasized about killing myself. I’m 44 in a few weeks. I’m pregnant. I hope it kills me. My husband hates me and my kids are better off without me. I’m garbage.
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Please don’t think that. Your kids DO need you and I’m sure your husband loves you. Have you thought about seeing someone to help with these thoughts, or antidepressants? Either or both can really help you you just need to make the 1st move into helping yourself. Its hard and it is scary as hell but think its of your kids. And if you cant think of them, just think that of yourself. You are worth so much. You have so much to give. Please get the help.
You are probably experiencing perinatal depression. I don’t think you should have a child under these circumstances. Have you considered an abortion?