I need to confess what I have done with regard to my addiction to p********** which escalated over a period of years resulting in me wasting thousands of dollars and doing shameful things.
OK so first of all I have been addicted to p*** for at least 7 years. Nothing too extreme or debauched but a lot of typical p*** featuring women with unrealistic enhanced bodies. I became obsessed with tanned white female pornstars with big soft fake lips and huge fake t*** and would m********* at least daily watching them.
I had traumatic teenage years at an all boys school and struggled with the opposite s** because of low self-esteem from being bullied, I therefore had a lot of s***** frustration and hypersexual and addictive patterns of behaviour in me even as I later began to have relationships and recover from my addiction as I am now.
It escalated when I came across interracial p***, especially ‘blacks on blondes’ including comic/animated interracial ‘black on blondes’ p***. Being a black male myself, I became obsessed with the images of hung black men pounding the sh*t out of tanned blonde pornstars. It became a very overwhelming fetish of mine and I would often be triggered just by seeing a blonde in real life, especially if she had a nice figure, ample bosom and a tan.
Not content with watching hours of interracial p***, I eventually succumbed to my desires and bought a life-sized blonde silicone s** doll of ridiculous bodily proportions, but got rid of it after not long. I just couldn’t live with the possibility of it being discovered by a family member in the house.
Still, I pressed on and began visiting escorts and pornstars, paying them for their ‘company’. I have visited 11 escorts and pornstars in all, nearly all of them blonde, some of them multiple times. Sometimes I paid extra for them to allow me to film my time with them. On one or two occasions, if they did not offer the extra of filming, I filmed secretly, which gave me a huge rush at the time. Even as I was penetrating these courtesans, fulfilling my ultimate fantasies with these big-breasted, tanned, blonde models, giving them my BBC as hard as I could, I would be impatient to get home and rewatch the videos over and over at my leisure. I would w*** myself silly watching those videos and they took a real hold over me. I also once had a steaming hot t******** with two of these lovely buxom callgirls but didn’t manage to film that occasion.
I also dabbled heavily in online webcams and stacked up quite a collection of cam2cam sessions with a catalogue of naked blondes as we watched each other. They tended to take a liking to my body which is in decent shape, and my c*** which looked even bigger on camera. I would edge and edge until they creamed themselves on their toys and then I would blow my load to finish off. Of course I screen-recorded these sessions for my enjoyment later and I always kept my face hidden.
I did all of these things and to this day, although I am now fighting to recover from my p*** and s** addiction, I have to battle not to be triggered into relapsing into the above behaviours.
All Comments
You’re a dumbass. You should be making money with that huge black dick that loves to fuck so much, which is completely normal for niggers.
Personally, I socially dislike niggers pretty strongly. However, I also have a rather intense desire for big nigger dicks when I indulge in my own fetish – anonymous gay sex!
I love to rent a hotel room now and then and post ads in various places offering my faggot cunt up to anyone who wants to come and fuck it. Inevitably, there are a plethora of niggers who want to fuck it.
I resist it at first, preferring to have my cunt opened up and gotten wet under those men I am attracted to – older white married men. While some of them are quite good at fucking, it’s never enough. By 10pm or 11pm by pussy is very open and extremely wet with the fuck juices of several white men, but my hungry hole is just getting started.
That’s when I finally give in and let the niggers come. They are fucking animals and stress my cunt to the breaking point with their huge cocks and penchant for extreme fucking. No one can fuck like these jungle men. They rock my cunt like no one else can, and since it’s in an anonymous setting with me face down and ass up I’m free to give in to it.
Everything tends to go gray while they are using my hole for their animal pleasure…I am somewhat aware of the sounds I make…gutteral groans and whining because my cunt is stretched so wide and they are shoving their cocks in so deep they penetrate my second sphincter.
Their giant cocks are so long and thick they can’t help but keep my prostate in a constant state of excitement. I just precum and cum helplessly, over and over, while my cunt is more and more filled with nigger jizz.
The line won’t ever end, but I eventually am sated and stop answering their requests. Everything goes black for a few hours and I finally wake up, laying in a pool of fuck juices, my ruined faggot pussy rudely farting gouts of nigger jizz.
Wasted a lot of money there, dude. Hope you’ve added it up, and realized, holy shit..I’ve spent thousands on..Nothing. Fantasy.
I finally did realise exactly that. However, in the grip of the addiction, I thought I needed to pursue that fantasy to feel fulfilled, though of course it only made it worse. Luckily last year I had a relationship with a great woman who helped me see my true worth. Now I’m single but I’m focusing on being my best, day by day.
Reading this I’m thinking maybe I should stop watching porn so much otherwise I’ll go bankrupt.
Why anyone would pay for porn is beyond me. There is a literal unending supply of every possible fetish available for free online now.
It wasn’t the porn that cost money, it was the sex doll and the repeated escort visits. But my obsession with porn led me to those things.
Yeh, stop as soon as you can if you think you might be addicted at all. There’s so much research now out about how porn affects the brain. Right now I’m doing nofap and have been ‘clean’ for over 50days. I’m literally rewiring my brain day by day by abstaining from porn and adopting healthy habits.