I hate going home to visit my parents. They are poor and always try to spend extra money when I’m home, which they don’t need to… I go and buy healthier groceries (non perishable) and things to put in the freezer while I’m home and then “forget” them and tell them they can have them so they don’t go bad. Tonight I went to bed without eating so I can leave more for them. I also leave money and gift cards hidden around the house or slip them into places so they think they just forgot about them… they always want to spend more time with me but anytime I’m near they always fall asleep.. they ask me why I lock myself away in a bedroom, but I can’t go anywhere when I’m home and the other option is for me to sit quietly in a chair and listen to my mom snore because she won’t t go sleep in her room… and then when I leave she and dad will cry and say I’m never going to come back… and sometimes, I don’t want to.. I feel trapped and hungry and feel like I need to take care of them… and as for the sleeping it’s not for a few hours, she falls in and out of sleep all day, then when awake she’s eating or talking in the phone… my friends of 10+ years have never met or seen pictures of my parents because I’m too embarrassed of them,..
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My friend, there is nothing for me to say except my mother died 4 months ago and with her went the last of the misery that was her life with my father, fighting from as far back as I can remember over nothing. Pops died in 2006. Now I am truly free – free from guilt, free from their oppressive, suppressive energies (though I loved them both) and just plain free. One day you will be in the same position and you will tell the same story you posted here only it will be funny and there will be heart in it, right now it’s a total sucker of your energy, that you must see to these crippled, emotionally immature children who never spent a second of their lives looking at themselves.