• 6 months ago
  • 0 0

I have a very hard time giving people another chance after they’ve made presumptions about me. I have long hair, tattoos, dress like a Metalhead/Rocker, have been into this most of my life since before I was a teenager even. School years I was harassed and bullied constantly, always stood up for myself because the people were largely all wimp cowards, but it never stopped until I eventually dropped out because I didn’t do well in school due to the constant harassment, I also had a bad home life in my childhood so my mom had kicked me out due to all my bad behavior at the time. As the adult years came, I watched lots of these same people eventually pick up on Metal, Punk Rock, and all the things I liked that they called me dirtbag, drug addict, and devil worshipper for all through my young years, and I still, at almost 40 years old, have never forgiven any of them. They add me on facebook I block them, poser ass losers had to wait til it was “acceptable” to like that stuff because heaven forbid they lose social status at school right? Pathetic. I have been with my fiance 8 years almost, her mother had extreme judgement of me right from the getgo, she eventually became alright with me when she saw I was a positive influence in her daughter’s life, and I can feign kindness when I do have to deal with her, but I’ve also never truly forgiven her, and not sure I ever will. She’s also a horrible alcoholic, almost 60 and goes out and drinks like she’s 21, every single family gathering they have ends with her in a stupor if we don’t leave early enough, and I just think she’s kind of pathetic and sad, and the fact that she had the audacity to judge me early on like she did, when she’s a complete piece of garbage as far as I’m concerned, enrages me to no end. I’ve been called an asshole by lots of people, and I do own it, but why should I not be when the world has largely been that way to me for most of my life? I don’t bother trying to make friends, I find most people to be annoying and/or a waste of time, the people in my life are a small number but they all provide a service of some sort, rather than just having regular friends you hang out with and do things with, and I like it fine that way. I also go out of my way to make sure I don’t waste people’s time or become a annoyance to them, so I guess I just don’t understand why people want to do that with me. I also don’t buy into the way society promotes “freak” culture these days, as these were all the same people who assumed I was a terrible person just going on how I dressed or the way I look. I can also judge people, and I think most are self centered, narcissistic, and have awful skeletons in their closet that would be beyond anything you or I could imagine. No real point with all of this, not looking for a solution, not looking to change myself, I just wish all these assholes had kept their retarded mouths shut, and stayed in their fucking lane, you decided before me that there was nothing good in me that you wanted to know about, live with your decision you stupid fucks……

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