When someone feels comfortable enough with you that they are willing to share something bad about themselves to you, don’t act overly shocked or berate the person. For istance, a friend of yours comes to you and tells you he hurts animals and felt safe enough to talk to you about it.
1. Remain calm. That will show that friend that you still feel safe around him and he will still feel safe around you.
2. Do not call him names, i.e. “you are the worst person in the world!” that will lower his self esteem which will make it more difficult for him to change his ways because he’ll be constantly thinking about how horrible he is, rather than ways to improve. And he will never confide in you again.
3. Even though what he did is horrible, offer him a hug or hold his hand. Show love, not hate. What he just revealed is huge to him, and if he knows you will respond with compassion, he will be less afraid and follow your advice more willingly.
4.lastly, offer constructive ways he can change his behavior….no namecalling. You may have just helped someone overcome a major problem and showed someone unconditional love. If more peoplevwere like this, it’d be a better more loving world.

All Comments

  • 5. Perhaps most important, never tell anyone what your friend confided in you. Don’t report him to government agencies. Whatever he shares with you, stays between you two.

    Anonymous October 7, 2018 12:57 pm Reply

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