I need to figure out how to just permanently internalize the fact that I am worthless and without value; that no one is so destitute, desperate, or deranged that they would actually deem me worthy of even an attempt to form a romantic connection. I just don’t know why I keep trying; why can’t I just accept the facts as they are? I will die alone; unloved and lacking the one thing in this world I want the most.

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