I am cutting. I am attempting to starve myself. I haven’t slept for two days. My math grades are dropping. I’m having panic attacks 2-3 times a day. So many times that I’ve gotten great at hiding it too. The only thing people see is a wild card, who regrets having fun and staying up too late. Only my teacher sees my grade and I’ve been acting as if I’ll get it under control. In the span of 4 days I had about 14 mental breakdowns. And now I’m crying at 11:10 pm because I’m only just now starting homework because I can’t focus. That’s how I got to this website. I just turned fourteen a couple weeks ago. I celebrated by going to my mom’s birthday dinner since her birthday’s before me. I kept my long sleeve coat on the whole time and hardly ate. I smile, laugh, and chat. But I don’t know anyone and high school has me scared shitless. So there you have it, just another broken teenager complaining about how much her life s****. Because she’s too ugly to look at in the mirror and everything hates her. F*** that not everything hates me and I’m extremely lucky. I’m just selfish. I know people who love me, but it’s the me that hasn’t shared anything. So I can’t judge them. Yet I always let them judge me. Currently I’m just a s***** mess. And just another paragraph complaining on this random website.
