• 6 years ago
  • 347 Views

Please do NOT judge me here. Everything is fact. Just helps to get this off my chest.
I’m in love with my 1st cousin and have been since we were kids growing up together. My first true love, he’s so gorgeous and has the biggest heart, is super intelligent, and speaks 3 languages which I LOVE. When we were kids, I told my friends that if we weren’t cousins, I’d be all over him! And they told him. He didn’t say he felt the same (probably awkward for him but I wanted him to know) but I knew it by the way he looked at me. I thought the feelings would go away as we got older but they only got stronger as he became a very handsome man. He is EVERYTHING a woman could ask for. Our Moms, who are sisters, always knew not to leave us alone together. I believe it’s so obvious that we are attracted to each other.
Fast forward 20 years, we’re in our 30’s, I’m married now and started a family. I still fantasize about my first cousin. Our (My husband & I) children were conceived as I closed my eyes and thought about my cousin. That’s the ONLY way I can climax. M just gets me beyond excited s*******. I’m torn here because my cousin is single, and I think he’s still in love with me as I am with him. We can’t be together just yet. Our family would be upset, but we are soulmates and we’re put on this Earth for each other. I caught him confessing about me online and it was very specific to things that only we know. The crazy thing is I’ve been confessing about him too. That’s how I found his confessions. God help us! I want to be with him more than anything. Pray for us, that we can either be together (my poor husband) or that he finds love and moves on. We are both extremely attractive people, and he’s dated some absolutely beautiful women. He says that he fantasizes about me to o*****. It’s not a coincidence. Plus, my husband has some suspicions because he sees how we look at each other. Our moms see it too.
I’m worried that I’ll cheat on my husband with my cousin M. He already caught me m*********** to my cousins photos but fortunately I closed the computer before he could see. He thought I was just using my v*******. I at least want my cousin to find love and we need to both move on. Help! He calls me “Number 1” and I LOVE IT! Any ideas? Years ago as we drove home from a family dinner, I pretended to be really drunk and told him to pull over so I could be sick, and I felt his hands slide under my a**, he said he was getting his cd case. I looked at him and said in the most flirtatious voice, “Nooooo”. I was trying to drop hints but I guess he didn’t pick up on it, or he did but was too awkward to act on it. He carried me in his arms in the house but the second my mom opened the door I jumped out of his arms and he saw I was sober. I used that just to feel him hold me. We fit perfectly! I dream of him inside me every night. We have a problem and need to address this. God help us!

All Comments

  • No one picks when you say No. Why can’t you just say you want to fuck and just fuck dude instead of all these dramas in your head.

    Anonymous March 18, 2018 4:38 pm Reply
  • This is a very awkward situation, and it’s not that simple. Constructive opinions only please. “Just fuck dude” doesn’t help me. If our family found out, we’d be shamed and my poor husband would be heartbroken. I just can’t take it anymore. I need my cousin inside of me, passionately making love to me. I need a way to just kiss him, then things will open up easily from there.

    Anonymous March 22, 2018 7:36 pm Reply

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