• 3 years ago
  • 279 Views

Does it really matter?

If I’m being honest, fear of me is one of those things in certain instances I like it. Not from a power standpoint and I am confident enough to know I mean business, I have the utmost confidence in myself to know that I am taken 100% serious when I express something and more importantly they know I mean business. I am 100% not f****** around. I say what I mean, I mean what I say and it’s not b*******. It’s almost like a repellant against people who we’ll just say I am not very fond off for whatever reason. Could be taste in pop culture, could be that you’re a s***, or a social justice warrior maybe you took me for a cool at one time. THAT I actually get a kick out off. It’s pretty simple. Stay the f*** away from me. Don’t wonder why, it just is what it is.

Some people, I don’t want them to fear me. I guess you could say they matter to me.

Really nobody needs to fear for their life. At the most, if it comes down to it, we can bang heads (or not) OR I’m an a****** and people get hurt but I guess what it comes down to is why does it need to come to that? and what does all the other s*** matter? Really? Why pick a scab, or jab the sleeping dog?

It kind of baffles me. I have known people like that. They play games and do fucked up s*** which kind of twists me, and does things to me until the point that alright… I’ve had enough, I’m a dog that’s been kicked too many times, play time is over so I retreat and I stay away BUT like I said I mean business, I am 100% not f****** around, if you took me for a push over then, try me now kind of thing. I have had enough 20 years ago, so if fear is what keeps it away, well I guess that’s alright. Nothing else seems to work against certain people.

The thing that baffles me is the ones wondering why I’m like this as if it could turn out any different given the circumstances? What does it matter? As they say, it is what it is. You can’t really rewind certain things, you can’t control people or what they do, even if they want to respect you or have respect. Bad decisions? Maybe at one time I was a push over. Let it ride. Don’t worry about. It’s not worth it. Let it go. I’m not that guy any more. But I do sometimes get a kick out of fear, especially when its a guy who could literally rip my head off if be got a hold of me. THAT is called confidence. I don’t get off on it, it stresses me out too, but it’s one of those things, it’s a boundary. You punish bad behaviour not reward it. In this case by being agreeable and getting together and over looking certain behaviours that are not good for me. Traits that have always been there and will always be there. I punish it by taking me out of the equation which might hurt more than the few responsible. Which makes everyone look at them. It’s just the way she goes. Me or them, if it’s them, well I’m out then. No need to wonder why. It’s too late for that.

It’s better than being walked all over right? Seriously though what does the rest of the s*** matter? I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that “me” is probably never going to go away between us. Some people have no reason to even fear. No hard feelings, they are just t****** or connected with people who I personally have a problem with and Infant be around them with that. It’s not me throwing down ultimatums but it’s me or them, I am not one to force people to do this so I make the choice and stay away from anything associated. The way I see it certain people should know better when it comes to me. You do that s*** with anyone else, I am not gonna say it’s fine, I might even judge, as long as you don’t pull that s*** on me, we’re alright. It’s called respect. From my perspective. You disrespect me in certain ways, you can’t really expect me to let it go? Actually I do let it go, but there’s no second chance. Quit wondering why? Ask yourself do you want any part of someone who you fear?

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