once i walked in on my husband f****** the s*** out of our adopted nigerian daughter. he was using my favorite d**** on her, so naturally i got a little upset. i went outside, found me a nice big alligator in my backyard (they aren’t uncommon), tranquilized it and threw it through the glass window of our bedroom. it hit my philandering husband on its way in but didn’t inflict much damage so i had to pull my lucky shotgun out of my v***** and give the d****-stealing fucker a few good ones on his limbs. nothing too drastic but just enough for my petty satisfaction.
anyway now he’s filed for divorce and wants my favorite d**** cause he paid for it and i was wondering how best to make a case for why i should keep it??
