rauru, the nibba of light, said to link, oi, link bod, get that zelda and shoot your light arrow deep into her sacred realm wonk wonk. Link bod of course was too busy torturing chickens to care about this. But after seven years sealed away while his hormones ran wild like in that duran duran song, he soon began to hunger for the wolf. impa looked like quite the m***, perhaps he could have some practice on her. she had a soft spot for him as a tween after all. he didn’t care if darunia already turned her shadow temple into a worn out fire husk. all he knew was that b**** didn’t get death mountain pyroclastic flows out of her minge anymore, he didn’t need to embarrass himself by buying condoms at the potion shop. Granny was quite the blabbermouth when it came to customers purchases – the data protection act hadn’t made it as far as Kakariko. For example, did you know that Windmill Man was recently seen buying a Zora blow-up doll and half a bottle of skulltula juice for lube? He doesn’t get much action what with having OCD about his windmill, plus whenever he goes to sleep for the night he mysteriously wakes up five minutes later and it’s already dawn, for some reason.
