I’ve had a crush on the same guy for almost 3 years now and still haven’t tried talking to him. I’m pretty sure he hates me as i told one friend i liked him but then we got into a fight and she told the guy i was stalking him and that i had photos of him in the locker rooms on my phone. This wasn’t true and i had to prove my innocence to him by getting my friend to eventually tell him the truth and also letting him look through my phone the day i found out about the rumor. He said sorry for it all and i just shrugged it off. Secretly i was really happy that he’d even spoken to even if he was yelling at me about being a staker. I love looking at him and i just think he’s so beautiful. He has a really goofy and funny personality but for some reason always acts like a a****** infront of his friends. He’s also told me he hates gays and blacks but i don’t think that’s his fault as i’ve seen what his dad’s like. Poor kid was probably raised on that kind of homophobic b*******. But i haven’t spoken to him in a year and I think he hates me. I panic and act weird around him so he thinks i’m annoying. He’s also in with all the popular kids in my school and I’m just a middle classer. Our friend groups are entirely different and we rarely see eachother. I don’t talk to him but i really wish i could. Ive tried getting rid of this crush by being with other guys but even when im f****** them i just think about him. I dream and wish that’d he’d be with me. When i see him with other girls i get so protective and pissed even though i shouldn’t because he doesn’t even know i exist. At east not the me that exists now rather than the girl i was a year ago. I really want him. i want to be with him and i want us to have fun together. I have just so many weird feelings for him. I’m just so confused. I really don’t know what to do.

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