• 5 years ago
  • 169 Views

Sorry. I am not strong enough to be your man. I really tried for way too long, but it was the most painful dragged out experience I have ever had. It was horrible. It’s painful to look back and remember what it felt like after years, I’m in the middle of nowhere, I honestly put my own life in my hands more than once, I really did, there was more than one time I was thinkong “I am going to f****** die… what happens when you die?… at any minute I could just go black… I hope I don’t die wih that p************ song on the radio…” and sometimes thinking “well of I do die, at least she knows I died being a man….” the weight and the frustration, anger, isolation, I mean yeah, it was an experience, and it even gives me nostalgia when I find myself back in these places, but it was g******* painful at the time. I felt it physcally every day for years. Am I tough? You’re f****** right I am, but I would rather kill myself than experience that again, so not tough enough.

All Comments

  • You do what you gotta do to take care of yourself 👏

    Anonymous January 17, 2019 9:19 pm Reply

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