• 6 years ago
  • 367 Views

I used to be an alcoholic (I’ve been clean for one year and am proud of myself for that accomplishment). I just came home from inpatient rehab to my wife and 6 year old daughter. We have a son on the way. I hate to admit this, but when I got drunk, I used to beat my wife. I vowed never to hit her again. At my welcome home party, I reached out to touch my wife’s cheek, to rub it in a loving manner. My wife ducked out of fear of my hand and my daughter yelled out in front of everyone, “Don’t hit mommy again!” I felt terribly humiliated in that moment and my heart was ripping apart from the pain I had caused my family. I went into the bathroom and cried and cried. I want to hide my tears from them. I’ll admit that is the first time I wanted a drink to numb my pain of how I hurt them. But I never acted on it. Maybe I should disappear out of their lives forever. They don’t need me there to constantly remind them of pain I have caused. I would never raise my hand to them except in a loving manner but I don’t know if my family can heal from the past. They’d be better off without me.

All Comments

  • First of all I am so incredibly happy for your achievement and I hope that you’ll stay clean no matter what happens to you. Also, your family’s reaction is absolutely normal since they were used to you being sort of violent on them, they still dont’t know wether you truly changed or you’re going back to your bad habits, I really recommend you to stay patient and just take things slowely, always keep your calm no matter what their reaction will be, plan a family trip or even a picnic day where u just enjoy your day, invite your wife to a nice dinner or even cook the dinner yourself, take your little girl outside, read her bed time stories, buy her toys, be gentle on them, show them that you really changed. You were strong and patient enough to kick a bad habit so I’m pretty much sure that you can get through this too. Please stay strong and never think of going back to drinking, because drinking doesn’t solve your problems, it just makes you forget it for a little while while creating bigger ones. And again, I’m so proud of you and just be patient, you changed to a better person, so things will change to better too

    Anonymous June 1, 2018 12:50 am Reply
    • Thank-you so much. I’m sure things will improve. I can’t wait to have fun with my family again. In fact, my wife and I were cuddling up about an hour ago, reading our daughter a bed time story. It was one of the best feelings in the world.

      Anonymous June 1, 2018 1:00 am Reply
      • I’m so so so happy for you, I wish for both you and your family an amazing life filled with love and respect and good times. Enjoy those moments 🙂

        Anonymous June 1, 2018 1:07 am Reply

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