Im always feeling guilty; I’m so used to it by now that I blame myself for everything even when its not my fault. My mom makes me feel so bad and she makes things worse by twisting what I say into something negative, for example, today she asked me what I was working on, and I asked her in a monotone way, “what are you talking about?” because I had begun to sweep and she had meant earlier when I was studying. As of now I’m 17 and I’ve realized that she would do more for her boyfriend than she would for me and she ignores me when I try to speak to her when ever he’s in the car with us. I have a 6 yr old sister whom she has more respect for, if she does something to me its not a problem but if I do than it is. I honestly feel so out of place in my own house and I feel that I’m being treated like s@$%. I dont even have my own room to myself because she has all her office supplies and old clothes that she refuses to give up in my closet, and suitcases under my bed while my sister has her own room with no problems. She puts her boyfriends well being before mine. She has no appreciation for all that I do for her, the whole summer I spent it taking care of my sister and I do every task she asks of me with no complaints or arguements and I do the best I can to be good and be who she wants me to be and do what she expects of me and all she can look at is the negative. On top of it she wouldnt let me out or do anything and she always found a reason to stay in the house. All my relationships that I’ve had have been horrible and I’ve felt so down and depressed I have hurt myself in every relationship and just started not to care at all about myself. She has called me so many names and told me that I am a piece of s@^$ and made me feel like the scum of the earth that I feel like physically hurting myself. I try to be understanding and I dont ask much from her, I’m just tired of being treated the way I am by my own mother when she should be the one who I trust and look up to, and I cant and I hope to be nothing like her. She’s constantly looking for an arguement for no reason and trying to stir trouble. I understand that she works hard and that things may be hard for her right now, but I dont feel she should shift her anger towards me.