I’m one of those people who appear to be happy on the outside when they say they don’t need anyone or how independent they are, currently crying because I say I want to be alone all the time which really translates to people have left my life and people I never saw it coming from. I rather disappoint myself than others doing it for me. Or I rather be alone than disappoint them. I know I don’t make my ex happy enough I don’t know if we could work out again because of all these incompatibilities which I am unsure whether it’s a personality thing or something that just needs to be fixed with self therapy.
Or other people, they just give a cold shoulder and not explain if I ever did anything wrong… and I’m not sure if it’s Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria doing this to me or lot. Whether real or perceived rejection.
And I wish I had more close people in my life but I suck at maintaining relationships due to neurodivergence and ADHD. I also get drained easily and I’m also cynical. So I fight with feelings of intense loneliness and conflict and it’s a never ending cycle
Sorry idk why I said that
