my family keep telling me that i need to prepare for what things will be like (if i go to a college elsewhere) by doing things on my own around the house. but i have a lot of difficulty doing those sorts of things due to my mental health, which they should know well by now. i’m already trying to do everything that i can (for example, going to school everyday) but they just can’t appreciate that and instead get mad at me because even though now i’m going to school full time, i’m usually a little late. as if me going at all isn’t already a huge accomplishment? they act like i can’t do anything for myself, but should be able to. they expect too much of me, yet also treat me like i’m useless, at all the wrong times. and i, as a child, would of course be disappointed and upset by their behavior to me. it makes me want to die, though i’d never do it. i get depressed thinking about it sometimes because people just don’t really seem grateful for me, yet i’ll have to go through what seems like an endless torture because i’m “expected” to do certain things. why should i do them, though? i don’t do it for myself; i couldn’t care less. i do it for you, but you don’t appreciate it at all. so then why should i wake up in the morning? what’s the fucking point? just be a little nicer to me.
