This won’t be well written but I just need to dump about the state of my life at the moment. I’m 21 years old.
I have issues, ranging from PTSD to just being a f*****. I like to smoke pot until I can’t feel anything, drink till I can’t stand anymore, and smoke vapor till I have popcorn lung.
However, I’m very successful in my career and academics.
But that is no indicator of healthy habits. in the past 4 years I’ve tried to numb myself with casual s** and have had over 25 different s***** partners. I’ve gotten chlamydia and gonorrhea and other unnamed UTIs. I am attractive enough to have s** but mentally immature enough to build relationships.
I have a group of great friends that I also cannot stand to be around. They don’t really give a s*** about me and I don’t really give a s*** about them, but we are all that the other people have.
I want to kill myself daily but I don’t wanna make my mom upset. I really don’t stand for anything other than my own self-interest, because no in really like me unless they have something to get from me.
