The person that I love most in this world is, I believe, intentionally making me suffer. I can't do anything without crying and breaking down because the past 7 months have been hell and I can't find my way back. Even with medication and counseling I can't deal. I just keep hoping that someone will have mercy and kill me before I have to do it myself.

I don't fear death, I fear how much everyone is going to hate me when I'm gone by my own devices but I can't function anymore. I've never been so alone in my life..