It’s 1:40am and I’m laying in bed beside my boyfriend. He got us a hotel room for two nights. First day was great. Today was a complete and utter disappointment. He’s asleep and I’m crying by myself. He woke up sick because he didn’t eat yesterday like I told him to before we drank and did coke. I happily went to get him food. By the time I got back he’d finished half a bottle of wine. He kept bitching about his acid reflux and being tired. I begged him to sleep so that we could go out at night. He slept but it didn’t help much. We walked around a bit but I was already worn out from trying to please him. I couldn’t even lift my head up. I just stared at my feet..
This was supposed to be our ‘first date ‘ and I feel so alone beside him. I thought we would get our first picture together. Walk around and sight see a little. Go swimming in the hotel pool.
I cant hide how I feel very well. When I told him what was wrong I desperately wanted him to hold me and I barely got a hug. I can’t sleep. I don’t feel loved the way I want to be. I need to be taken care of, too.. I don’t know if this relationship is going to last.
