Parents don’t make time to understand me and always shout at me from work stress. I always walk on eggshells around them and get criticised for just being myself. I hate it and wish I had parents who loved and supported me and didn’t just do their job as a duty. They would drop me for their siblings or parents and always blame me for living a life they don’t like in a country they don’t like and tell me they wish they never had children. I am an only daughter.
I only regret having them as a family. I am grateful for the opportunities they gave me and am very grateful for the fact that they instilled a good work ethic in me but wish they hadn’t been so brutal. When I was younger (around 5), I have a memory of them making me write words and count numbers and screaming when I wanted a break to eat lunch. They wouldn’t let me eat until I had finished. They always used to leave me at childminders’ houses and never came to class assemblies and sometimes even didn’t come to parents’ evening. My father only came to 2 and my mother came to most of the other ones.
They use me as a pawn for their interests and think that I am a project for them to choose a life for without me meaning much to them. I wish I had a family that liked me and cared about me.
I can’t wait to move out next year but they say they will visit me in university. I want to reduce the contact to necessary contact. They will still support me financially so I am forced to be dependent on them. I have tried to get online tutoring jobs without a uni degree and I can’t. I’m forced to rely on them. I hate my situation so much. A little empathy could change it but t won’t be there.
I hate the fact that I can’t stop wishing for a more emotionally empathetic set of parents who aren’t verbally cruel and physically providing.
