i kinda realized im the annoying cousin.
(im the same age as my cousins) i see that they dont like me. they dont talk to me with as much joy as they do with my sister. theyre really dismissive when they talk to me. they dont look at me when i talk to the theyre paying more attention to their phone. they dont like my jokes. they dont include me in conversations or memes they share.
ive been thinking about this for like 2 years now. i didnt wanna believe it but i know its true. i always thought that even if i couldnt make many friends at school id at least have my family. but the more i just observe them the more i realize every single one of them dont want me to be around.
sometimes i wish i could just kill myself and start over.
