• 4 years ago
  • 266 Views

I’ve had a bad year… Like a real bad one first I came out to my friends for being a lesbian and they said I was, disgusting. Then since the age of 16 I worked at a serving job so I could support my mother and house no one else would help… I’m the youngest of four. My father had left us this year to f*** the lady down the street cus I guess we were too difficult to manage. My mother had terminal cancer and only little money… So I did something terrible. I found this man on Facebook who had been a worker for my father in the past we talked and I had no friends and less and would be lesser family. He listened no one did except him. But he wanted things I could not give. He had said I was being selfish and if I did this one thing for him he’d pay off what was left of the mortgage so I sent him the pictures. He’d text me every g******* minute of the day. And even sent me outfits… This wasn’t me I know what I like this was wrong and sick but… I needed the help. After my mother had pass through my efforts I felt I had failed. And the house was still in my father’s name so he’d decided that my middle brother could have the house and would help me out with the bills…. But he’d treated me like an worthless waste of space and saying to move on and that I didn’t need to eat I could loose the pounds and it was my own fault for being gay. So I had thought of suicide in the past and after being abandoned, mentally abused,deprived upon, and suffered great loss… I turned to my older brother who had lived far away and… told him everything except for the man of stolen pictures. He cried and said I could live with him so I packed my things in garbage bags… And the only thing I have of my mother is a envelope of pictures… And her necklace she gave me before. And I only had a total of three bags… Omg well so I did the responsible thing and told my house mate of p************ brother I was leaving and he had said I was being too much of a baby and to face my problems. I told him truthfully I wanted to be far away from a person who’s been s******* assaulting me and more. You know what he said… ” Who gives a s*** your the one who gave them to him hey on the plus side maybe it fixed your s********” while laughing. Ha haha so you know what I laughed to and he seemed shocked and I said “wow I feel less bad leaving I’ve giving you everything f***** everything while you f****** did nothing to help me and Mom before and even more I showed you my pain and you laugh” and I looked at him while carrying my garbage bags and before I walked out said.. “No wonder mother thought you were like father… Complete and udder garbage” and ran. He tried to catch me little did the s*** know I’ve been running, running from other men who were more monstrous than him… So I said goodbye to that town and my home and left for good I promised myself I’d never go back.. for me and Mom. So now I live with my brother and graduated what what… And am going to college finally. So this is my pain, my whole story only you know. Yep so I’m getting my life together sometimes though I still think of those nights of me crying while on video in that pink lingure and that smile on his face those… Words … But that girl has learnt oh yeah the hard way that I’m one tough b**** and I’ll never ever let someone even try to use me for there own sport like an animal mounted on a wall. I’m not your trophy. I’m not your prize. I’m my own desire and you can be too just process courage. Your voice is a weapon and you will not keep it in a lock case just for show. I want you to know I love you even your broken peices cus at least you are putting your self together. We’ll see you on the other side…

Sincerely, survivor

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