Today I cried 7 :(07. 12.19) the pressure of doing everything and doing everything well is getting to me. I never feel like I’ve done anything despite how many hours I put into things. Drawing is the only thing that beings me joy, but it’s looked down upon as a wastage of time in my household. I wish that I could just get on with this whole ordeal. I don’t even know what I truly want anymore. I feel so angry and then sad and then numb, repeating in a cycle of destruction. I felt happy for a day day before yesterday, but it was crushed when my dad proded me about my progress for the exams. Although I’ve studied a lot and got pretty good marks on the last few exams, I always feel like he’s disappointed in me, like I failed him. I need to leave this behind. I need to leave him behind and have a better life in the future.
