I feel like my BPD and Bipolar disorder has flung itself out of control. I used to be a very social, confident person. These days I’m so anxious I’m afraid to open messages due to the pressure of responding. I took the path of talking to a psychiatrist twice this last month, but I still have another month until I begin therapy to figure this stuff out. I lost a baby last month and started thinking about putting a gun to my head. I knew I needed help at that point. I literally have been coping with exercise and cannabis for so long. I don’t know how to not be high anymore because it helps to manage these huge emotions. I have large bruises on my leg from where I got so mad I hit my legs repeatedly. I never used to self harm… It all feels like so much. I just want the cycle to stop.
