My best friend tried to kill himself, and the only thing that stopped him was a friendship bracelet i had given him an hour before. we were at a Japanese restaurant, laughing, having a good conversation as he used two forks as chopsticks. I gave him a friendship bracelet i got in Italy a week before and he hugged me tightly. I had no clue he was so sad. He left, we embraced, and i relaxed. If he had died, my memories of that day would have been stained forever. I couldn’t have forgiven him. It’s hard to now, actually. A few days later he asked if i wanted to see something he wrote, a diary entry. I said sure, since he’s a fantastic writer. It was a diary entry of his thoughts from that day. Saying how depressed he was and how i was the only thing holding him back. I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t stop. How heartless. I know i sound selfish, and I’d never say these things to his face, but why? How could he do that? What if it were me? You don’t show people those kinds of things. Then, he says he is probably moving away. As you can imagine, it was an emotional ricochet for me at this point. I was shutting down. A day later, he says he isn’t moving, but he’s fallen in love with a beautiful girl. He begins ignoring me, we bicker about how he needs to realize I won’t be a human bean bag for him to spill his life onto. I am a person. I say, out of sadness: “When are you planning on burning the bracelet?”. He ignores me for real this time. A week goes by. That’s where i am currently. Everything is my fault, i’m aware. For the first time, last night in the shower, i considered death.
