• 5 years ago
  • 241 Views

Pretty much the only barrier between me and suicide is the knowledge that I’d be taking up to three people with me, but damn I’m so f****** tired of being the support-beam. I don’t resent it, I’m just exhausted. Meds are probably in the future but not looking forward to the pity party that’s going to happen when I tell the people in my life ‘yeah this is a thing.’ I know I’ll get the support but f*** I hate attention. When you’re the person that comes to the rescue and helps whenever there’s an issue, the people around you are always so f****** happy to help, which sounds like a good thing but I really do mean HAPPY, have you ever watched someone you care for try to hide the fact that they’re thrilled you’re losing your s***? The last f****** thing I want when I’m breaking is someone to be happy about the fact, even if it’s just eagerness to make good on some kind of perceived debt; have I ever expressed happiness over them hurting? No, their pain is cutting me to the bone because I’m a f****** empathy sponge, so is a little tact so much to ask? Then I feel like a p************ because I can’t even appreciate the support that’s mine for the asking and all these others haven’t got s***, but f*** I’m tired and I don’t want to deal with the fall-out.

All Comments

  • Waaaa-mbulance incoming. Do it. Take yourself out…and aim for more than 2-3 fuckers. We need to thin this fuckin’ herd.

    Anonymous February 22, 2019 2:31 pm Reply

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