• 6 months ago
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I feel like I’m going insane. Really.

A girl I was talking to earlier today told me that everyone lies (using the word everyone without any qualifiers) and it’s unrealistic to expect otherwise. I thought that can’t be right because I don’t lie, my friend since we were in secondary school doesn’t lie, I know we aren’t the only two, and successful relationships depend on honesty. Part of me wondered whether her words were partly her defending her own lies or something, it just doesn’t sound right at all.

So then I pointed this out, mentioned how it seemed like she then thought that I lie and that this wasn’t helpful to do, and let her know I won’t message her again because why would I, we clearly don’t see straight. Then a while later I get this massive message which says she wasn’t calling me a liar, but repeats ‘everyone lies’, then says ‘well, almost everyone’; says I probably don’t want to admit I lie occasionally (which I don’t, and which contradicts her saying she wasn’t calling me a liar), calls me immature and criticises me for not listening to her side of the argument. What argument??? I mean seriously, I don’t understand; what can I do if someone criticises me for my understanding of what they say if they use a word then change their meaning after the fact, and when they both say they AREN’T talking about me and they ARE?

I would really love some help on this, I mean I feel like a foetus right now, I’m an English native but whenever people talk to me and I process their words, they do this to me and I feel like I’m disabled or broken inside…

All Comments

  • Disabled? Perhaps you have high functioning autism? I do, and I don’t lie (unless it’s a “white lie” to spare someone’s feelings- and even then I try to be honest in a kind way). Facts are just facts, and often people with autism have trouble understanding why facts and truths could hurt or be bad. Other people seem to lie & make up crap all the time. I don’t understand it. Maybe you’re not autistic- maybe just really altruistic & genuine, which is great! It’s a shame your friend makes sweeping generalizations like that, but I wouldn’t let it get to me if I were you. You sound like a good person. 🙂

    Anonymous February 10, 2019 4:25 pm Reply
    • I sometimes wondered about ASD but was told I don’t have it. Might I point out that ‘I don’t lie unless it’s a white lie’ is a contradiction and that it means you do lie. I simply find it easy to take other peoples’ feelings into account without taking them personally, if someone tells me I upset them I can work on it and solve it with them and it benefits us both. Frankly I don’t think I’m good at all, since any time these sorts of language issues come up, I end up with people getting toxic angry to me, I get told I’m stupid for asking what someone means because I don’t understand, and they insist that’s impossible, it’s like simply expressing myself causes trouble.

      Anonymous February 11, 2019 7:12 am Reply
  • Everybody lies it’s not just autistic people. I have read most people lie on their resume just to land a job or they make fun of people and hurt them just for fun. It depends on what you see is a lie. If you say that we are at peace when we clearly aren’t, that is a lie. But if you are talking in terms of facts, nobody really relates to facts anymore so either everyone is disabled or they are just lying. Sometimes lying may have a cause like, I don’t know, behavior/environmental. I don’t understand why you don’t seem to realize you aren’t really friends with anybody, you are just their fuckbuddy and if someone is claiming to tell the truth and they look like a supermodel I would be worried. Why would someone like Cindy Crawford be a scientist? Supermodels don’t do that.

    If you do not read, then you certainly don’t understand the truth.

    I know people only care about appearances, everybody needs to grow up.

    Wow, that person above me sounds stupid.

    All you think about is what a person’s face looks like so you certainly don’t care what I have to say.

    Anonymous February 10, 2019 7:13 pm Reply
    • But that’s the point – not everybody lies; I don’t, my friend doesn’t. If you’re trying to define lies interpretatively, aren’t you just distorting things to suit yourself? Either something is true or it is false, that is not open to interpretation. I disagree that nobody relates to facts. Fuckbuddy, what? I don’t do anything intimate with someone unless I knew them long enough to see the real them. Many people don’t care only about appearances, and I don’t either. What you wrote seems almost like a copypasta in places.

      Anonymous February 11, 2019 7:14 am Reply

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