I’m falling back into my ED after 8 years in recovery, of obsessing over doing it again this whole time.

I want to be able to talk to someone about it but I know if someone knows I risk being stopped.
Part of me does want to stop. A deeper, stronger part of me wants to continue the lies and lose the weight. I’m hungry, tired, and scared. But full of so much self-hatred. It’s affecting my work and my relationships already. It’s so f*cked up.

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