Tonight I’m going to kill myself.
I have the rope ready, and the perfect place. I am finally done with life. People will s*** on me. Saying I’m too young to be depressed or anxious.
Saying im tol young to feel this way.
Long story short I’m abused by my parents. Both emotionally and physically. Although my mother was always the worst. It hurts. All those years. I thought with time id learn to ignore them, but here i am. Eith my arms butchered with cuts and the noose already tied. I was just 9 years old when i thought about killing myself.
Don’t get me wrong, i don’t think my parents are bad people. I still love them, even after all they did. I just realize that they shouldn’t have ever been parents. They took out their anger and frustrations out on me, so i have vivd memories of younger me being so terrified of them amd their violent outbursts, that i would piss in my own room because i was too afraid to come down, especially when i heard yelling and cursing.
I’m 15 now. I suffer from such terrible and crippling anxiety. It debilitating. I have a panic attack almost every day. and it hurts sk bad. Its a pain i never want anyone to feel. The un natural way of my heart feeling like its being wrapped in hot slime while beating so fast i feel like faiting. Crying uncontrollably for hours. Begging through my pathetic hiccups and tears for jt to end. I was bullied as a kid alot too. For always being so quiet. And being “too nice” i guess it just got on peoples nervs.
I just can’t take it anymore.
My heart hurts so bad.
I wanted to do this years ago and all my previous attempts failed. So now I’m doing something thats gonna kill me 100% either way. Idon’t care about the pain. It cnn never be worse then what jI felt in my life. Its all too much.
I know no onewill miss me. A sad pathetic loser. How worthless do i have to be for my own parents to despise me?
Goodbye cruel world, hope you’ll do better with one less failure around.
All Comments
do what you can to find some weed and smoke it. If you’re on the verge of suicide and you’re parents hate you. You might change your mind and it might make you smile even if you have to endure some punishment because of it. It could change your life. I was on the verge of suicide but it actually helped me.
It made me laugh for the first time in years. It’s actually not true what they say, it doesn’t kill braincells and it doesn’t make you dumb.
Before you try to kill yourself. Do what you can to find that asian guy or someone who doesn’t do their homework and see if they have any weed.
I know its scary but it could help you, just don’t get on a personal relationship with them.
Sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time, you don’t deserve to die.
Don’t do what this guy said!!! Don’t do that! That’s not the answer, that’s as bad as cutting yourself it may feel great and give you that moment of peace and bliss, but do NOT do it. Not to mention how much it costs..It’s not worth it cause it’s not one bit healthy, please try to reach out. Please, you matter I promise you do.
You aren’t too young to be depressed or anxious. No one is too old or young and I hope it isn’t too late but the world wouldn’t be better off without you. You’re needed and loved. Please if you do see this. Please stay
I love you. I’d love to hug you and give you love. You can never be too kind. There is no such thing as too kind. Please, please don’t end your life. Do you have grandparents? Aunts or uncles? Maybe you could live with them. My past is much like yours. My mom was emotionally abusive, a liar, and manipulative. I didn’t have a father growing up- maybe he left because of her behavior. I was teased to no end in school. The first time I wanted to die, I was 9 years old as well. I have severe generalized anxiety disorder and I’m 30. The memories never go away but the hurt eases over the years. I felt like a fool to have any loyalty to my mom when all she did was lie and manipulate. Please remember death is permanent- please don’t do it. I’m here to talk to you for as long as you want.
I LOVE you and YOU are wanted. I promise things will get better. I understand what you have been through and no matter what you are a beautiful person who is needed in this world. Stay strong and please keep communication open. Please don’t hurt yourself!
This is one of the few moments where I wish I could hug someone though the screen of my laptop. Your vivid descriptions of the trauma you went through had me crying… I hope you’ll live a wonderful life, please stay strong it will get better!