I’ve been in an on/off relationship with a married man for almost 5 years. Two years ago we had a bad breakup that lasted a few months. He had moved out and was planning on getting divorced, then she called on her birthday and laid the guilt on him like never before. She told him if he didn’t move back in with her that one of their grown children was going to end up harming or killing another and that he would be to blame. She also had continued to talk as if she would kill herself. She played him hard and he fell for it. Fast forward almost two years, he was going to leave again and then her father went and committed suicide. Now her birthday is coming up again and she’s been pushing him, making him feel guilty all over. I love him but I just don’t know anymore if the waiting is really worth it. We’ve made it through 5 really hard years of wanting to just be with each other but both stuck with children and other family obligations/issues that just keep popping up. Every time we think we are getting close then something else happens. It’s usually something with one of his kids. His oldest has had to be committed, then the youngest got pregnant, and now her dad…so she’s using all of this to keep him there even though she knows. He is miserable. He’s tired of playing to her just to keep the peace, it never ends up keeping the peace anyway because she always finds something to harass him about. He is so afraid of her wrath that he always ends up waiting until the current crisis has died down to try and get away from her again and then boom, something else always ends up happening. She’s using this thing with her father now always crying to him about what a hard time she’s having dealing with it and worried about her mother. We are afraid the next thing is going to be that she’s going to be wanting to move her mother here from out of state and in with them. And that’s just going to be yet another reason she will give why he has to stay. She can’t afford the house they are in by herself, they can barely afford it with both incomes because none of the kids have a clue how to 100% stand on their own feet and pay their own bills. I love him like no other, and he loves me the same but I swear some days I’m on the verge of giving up. And I know that’s what she’s waiting on. Part of me doesn’t want to give her the satisfaction but at the same time I’m tired of waiting for him to finally stand up to her. She has known about us almost from the very start. He knows she doesn’t truly love him. It’s an ego thing for her. She does not want the embarrassment of being left by him, and she doesn’t want any other woman, especially me to have him…even though he is more mine than he will ever be hers even if he never leaves. She is content to live with a man who is in love with someone else, a man who despises the very sight of her, a man who says the most vile things about her because he hates her that much…he even makes fun at every time she crys and pouts, and she knows because she sees the look on his face and gets mad because she can see he wants to laugh at her, but still she hangs on because she would rather force him to stay in a life of misery than to lose face to another woman. I’ve promised him many times I would wait but I don’t know how much longer I want to to this. Every time there’s a holiday, birthday, family crisis….it’s like it sets us back months and then something new comes up.

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