My family ruined the holidays for me. Not just Christmas, but any holiday I got time off for. I was expected not to take a break but to work outdoors and inside from sunup to sundown. Even at university, I’m relying on them for schools and housing so I can’t escape it. Right now I’m feigning illness just so I don’t have to drive up to my parents. Meanwhile the stress of what is to come is making actually making me physically ill. Anytime the ask me to come back home during breaks makes my heart stop with fear. Because going back home is never okay for me. I love my parents but my father has ruined the holidays for me and my mother never really defends me from his anger if I ever complain. When I finish school I’m running and might never come back, and I feel so f****** selfish for that thought.
