This will be broken into 2 parts: directly after the appointment and walking home from school
F****** CHRIST IM PISSED. I missed F****** AP PHYSICS for G******* COUNSELING SESSION. 0% of the s*** I did this morning mattered to health and we only talked about my future, because I have autism. I wish I wasn’t even born, I should’ve been aborted DAMN IT. Why do I have to go through this b*******? Why do I have to be the only one who has to worry about seeing a counselor they don’t give a crap about? WHY THE F*** ME? I just try to do well in school, I try to maintain a healthy social life, but I just HAVE to get anally raped by life don’t I? I JUST WANT TO BE NORMAL AND ALONE! Why is it so f****** difficult to get that? S***, I think I’ll just start strangling something for fun again, because losing oxygen is the only way I can calm down without the need to kill something with my bare hands.
My parents no longer trust me anymore. I was out this morning, because my mom set up an appointment she told me about the day before. Due to this, I was unable to complete the math work I do in the morning and almost missed a lesson in AP Physics. The appointment, however, was about how I’m growing up currently as an autistic waste of a child. During the appointment, my mom and I just talked to a f****** counselor and by the end basically decided to do exactly what I never wanted in my life or I would seriously consider killing myself: go to therapy or a camp to spend the summer. I’m beginning to think the purpose of the appointment in general was to show me how my family doesn’t believe I’ll succeed later in life due to my autism and that when my mom asked me about colleges, I couldn’t give a sure answer. Now after coming home from school, cracking my bed frame, and punching my dresser out of anger, I realize that my fate now is f****** permanent. My family won’t accept whatever the f*** my opinion will be on the matter.
