I am in absolute love with a much older man. 15 years older than I am. He has absolutely no idea because deep down I know that he does not feel the same way. There is no way he does or can. I also know that there is no chance that we will ever be together even though I fantasize it. It hurts so much because he lives a few states away from me and I can’t stop thinking about if he is with another woman. I always think he is hanging out with some girl and I get so depressed to the point where I have zero motivation to do anything; all I can do is sit and think about him. I have no idea what to do because he seems to control my life. My thoughts. My feelings. Everything. He is my every waking thought. He is in the dreams I feel like I have every single night. He is in my head before I lay it down to rest. I can’t seem to get enough of him. I don’t think I will ever get over him.

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