I raped a woman while I was in college, drunk one night at a party. I regret all the harm I caused. I spent a year in jail, and am now listed as a s** offender. I later apologozed to this woman and she accepted.
However, I still hate myself. And I’m afraid of women. I never got to complete college- I wanted to be a medical reseacher and find new cures. I’m 35 now and own my own sporting goods store. I saw a dad and his son yesterday buying basketball equipment. I helped them but afterwards, I went to the back and cried. I had always wanted a son to do stuff with.
I dated a few times after the r*** but they were never successful. I just wish someone would treat me with kindness and love. Ome time, when I was having s**, my partner whispered in my ear, she could cal the police on me and tell them I raped her. I went into a panic and she thought it was funny. She even got mad at me for not finishing and kicked my testicles while I was crying in fear. How can I trust a woman to not lie about me?
I hate myself for even wanting to be s***** anymore. I feel like I’m disgusting for wanting to have s**, or be hugged, or loved. I’m just a no body that should have never been born. I think my only purpose here is to be tormented by everyone. I went to give my sister a hug yesterday and she pulled back and yelled, “I don’t hug rapists.” My own family can’t accept me. Maybe I should just kill myself. I don’t have a future.

• Share on Facebook