I ask myself every night how did I f*** up so badly. It doesn’t mater who’s to blame. I just wish the past 7 years went differently. I can’t get them back no matter what. It’s not too late for anything, I have nothing to worry about, everything to gain, yet I don’t care anymore. I’m a loser, I’ve accepted it. I cared so much in the past, I had big dreams, I worked so hard and only one goal came true but even that goal turned out to take me further away from joy. Selfishness doesn’t bring happiness, yet it’s the only way to get anywhere. I’m just not made for this world. I’d kill myself already if I could.
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Selfishness is definitely not the only way to get anywhere. Maybe it’s the only way to get wherever you wanted to get, so you might just want to reconsider / change your goals, especially if the only goal that came true took you further away from joy. Red flag.
It seems you’re way too stuck in the past. Why? It’s gone.
And, calling yourself a loser is very, very harsh.
Please try to forgive yourself.
Sorry if my comment sounds harsh, but I was at a similar situation, hurting myself, calling myself loser etc. It took A LOT of work, but I’m happy now. And guess what? None of my past goals came true. But my newer ones did. Good luck and stay strong