I loved a boy, so much that it hurt. But he was so f****** manipulative, constantly trying to force me to do things I’m not comfortable with under the excuse of it being “normal”. Of course, I refused. He made me feel guilty about it and tried several times to manipulate me into a relationship. I know this sounds horrible but he was my best friend, my rock in every time of need, I truly loved him with all I had. But I mustered up the strength and I left him, expecting for him to beg me back. And he did, for four months. It was so hard pushing him away. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. But now, months later, when I attempted to resolve the harsh situation, he once again told me how he loves me and wants me back. A week before, I had learned that he told another girl to be his girlfriend and that he loved her. That means it was all a lie, from the very beginning. A ploy, so he could parade me around like a f****** doll. I’ve never hated anyone so quickly, yet a part of me still yearns for his comforting presence. I feel used.
