• 6 years ago
  • 320 Views

I think about killing myself almost nightly. I was suicidal last year, and now that I’m on meds it’s been better for about a year. But this is different. It’s really stupid and I feel like I’m overreacting, since my suicidal thoughts are all because of my recent breakup. It’s ridiculous. I’m so freaking stupid but I think about dying frequently. I’m afraid to tell anyone because my parents are really judgmental about that stuff, and they’ll probably just say I’m being over-dramatic and don’t need a therapist. That’s what they did when I kept trying to tell them I had depression and wanted help, up until they found out I was self harming and they finally let me get help.
I have a lot of attention seeking thoughts too, like wanting to hurt myself so I end up in the hospital but won’t die, because I want him to feel…I don’t know what I want him to feel, I just want him to show he cares about me. I realize this is manipulative and bad but it crosses my mind a lot and I hate myself for it.
But yeah. I don’t know. I’m 18 and I want to kill myself over my first breakup. I’m pathetic.

All Comments

  • You’re not pathetic. Breakups are hard. I’m 24 and I’m still not over my latest breakup of a month ago. You’re not alone. You can do this I promise. Give yourself all the time you need.

    Anonymous July 21, 2018 6:10 am Reply
    • I really appreciate this; thank you.

      Anonymous July 21, 2018 6:15 am Reply
      • Anytime. <3 In the meantime until you feel better, do what’s best for you. Spoil yourself, do things that make you happy, watch some comedies and before you know it; things will get a little easier each day.

        Anonymous July 21, 2018 6:20 am Reply
  • You don’t live for another person, your life is your own and nobody else is worth that. If you decide to go through with it that would be a tragedy but it wouldn’t really be because of them, it was because of your own feelings. Maybe that’s a hard pill to swallow but it might be exactly what you need. They aren’t responsible for you and killing yourself won’t prove anything to them except that you couldn’t handle your own emotions. I hope you decide to seek help because it sounds like you are in a dark place, but don’t put that blame on other people when you should take responsibility for your own emotions and feelings. You ARE a victim, but only to yourself.

    Anonymous July 21, 2018 11:25 am Reply

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