I’ve had so many fucking issues, I can’t even think properly anymore. I’ve been bullied by strangers, friends, family, and now I’m in constant doubt of people around me. I go to a therapist, but it isn’t helping at all. I think I have a personality disorder, but I don’t even know what I am anymore. I can’t discern how I feel about my gender, because I’m always uncomfortable. I just want to curl up and wither, pop out of existence, and just leave this world, but I can’t because my mother still needs me, and I feel tied to this fucking earth.
My mother is my main abuser, but she suffers from BPD so I really can’t blame her. She calls me names, screams and shouts at me, and when it gets really bad she hits me, or throws something at me.
I don’t know what to do, and I feel powerless. My life is my pain.