• 6 years ago
  • 383 Views

I need feedback because I’m depressed. I was taken or I should say ripped from my family and home 3 times by CPS when I was a little child (10-12). It wasn’t for a good reason- failure to attend school. I was scared to even go outside of my house to play a lot of the time because I was scared I would be snatched by psychologically abusing CPS workers. CPS workers forced me to lie about abuse, including s***** abuse, just so they could win their case or look better in court. They had me sit for hours repeating their stories until I got them correct. I am a horrible person for lying about s** abuse and I used to think no man would love or trust me if he found out. I just wanted to go home and be loved.
I thought I had gotten over it but lately, the emotional pain and trauma are hitting me all over again (I’m in my late 20s). I’m afraid to have children because I don’t want to lose them and have them have to go through the trauma I did (of being removed). I don’t even want a husband or boyfriend. It is difficult for me to form meaningful relationships. I feel like I’m no good because of this and that I’m not worthy of love. Please guide me, in any advice you can, how to forget about this. I think about this every day and I don’t want those experiences to ruin my life. Please help? Also, please read about my experiences before you call CPS ON ANYONE.

All Comments

  • Oh god, that’s horrible! Try to seek help if you can.

    Anonymous May 28, 2018 6:56 am Reply
  • I think that it’s not about forgetting your past, but coming to terms with it and finding ways to cope. Most people would suggest getting help from a psychiatrist or something similar. It’s okay if you don’t want that though. Some people, like me, learn to move past it on our own. Maybe you should find a support group, something that can help you bond with new people and cope with your troubled past. My biggest piece of advise for you: FORGIVE YOURSELF. You were young, you were manipulated and you were looking for love. It doesn’t mean you wouldn’t make a great parent and/or spouse. Good luck <3.

    Anonymous May 28, 2018 11:53 pm Reply
    • I cannot thank you enough for your post- it is some of the best advice I’ve ever recieved. I want to hug you. ? Tears came to my eyes as I read your post. You are right- I don’t want to see a therapist because they create records and most, if not all, of the records from these original events have been purged and destroyed. The last thing I want is to have more official records about those events. So, I’ve decided to go to a priest in confession- they cannot tell anything you say and they don’t keep records. I think a priest could be a great advisor. Thank you for your confidence in my to be a great spouse/parent. You don’t know how much that meant to me. Sometimes I can be a little over dramatic because I have anxiety because of what I went through, but the chance of CPS coming after my children is probably slim to none. I just hate the whole CPS organization but just because it exists doesn’t mean I should let my fear of them dictate whether or not I have children. My fears have got to stop today. Thanks again ?

      Anonymous May 29, 2018 1:04 am Reply
      • That’s great! I wish you all the luck and all the love in the world! Don’t let a broken system take you down with it. You’ve got this!

        Anonymous May 30, 2018 5:33 am Reply

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