Gave up on all my real, achievable hopes and dreams. Everything I had built up after being raped and suffering from PTSD, crumbled to dust finally after all these years. I had hoped to move countries and start anew, work and get a good job with my specialization degree… but today, last week, last month… for some time I have just wanted to die. It got better for a little when my goals were becoming alive, but once that failed my mind backtracked. I’m alone, no one would notice until it’s too late. No one needs me, no one wants me. I’ve never dated longer than months, I’m a waste of space. I’ve always been depressed, my whole life. I have no real friends or family, now even moving forward is too difficult and I can’t find more ways to erase the damage. I wish I can just die quietly soon. I have nothing. I’m lonely and can’t handle it.
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What you are going through is hard but not completely unique. there are other people who are also going through the same thing. I suggest seeing your most accessible health care professional, calling a suicide line or talking to a trusted friend or relative. Talking to a friend can really help you understand just how loved you are. Your dreams can still be realised! You just need a bit of help at the moment 🙂