I’ve gotten depressed to the point that crying makes me feel comfortable. I’ve taken up writing sad stories to make up characters I can relate to, and have them live my fantasies. I don’t make it obvious, so when my few friends read it, they think I’m just being a creative writer, but I’m subtly expressing myself in the words. I’m in high school, and I’ve been desperate to be in a relationship to have someone I can talk seriously to. I’ve been a very happy person most of my life, so I don’t like talking about my deepest feelings to my friends, who expect me to be the funny guy. I especially have this one friend that dates around a lot who is constantly ranting about his troubles, so I don’t feel right to talk about mine, which is the reason I want a girlfriend. I want to tell someone about my struggles in a serious manner. I keep all my pain to myself, so if no ones around, I’m horribly depressed, and only think depressing thoughts. I know this was a long, schizophrenic, confession, but if you read it all, thank you. If you have a comment, please share it with me.
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I know how you feel. I do something similar to what you said in your confession. I write short stories with imperfect characters I can relate to, as well. My friend group is pretty down in morale right now ever since on of them tried to commit suicide, so I don’t share a whole lot with them either. I’m in high school as well, but the relationship stuff isn’t a big priority for me. My parents and friends expect me to be in a good mood all the time, too. I don’t try talking to my school counselors, it can take weeks before they can have a session with me. The next best thing I have is this website and the website where I post my stories. Because of all I’ve mentioned before, my grades are slipping and it’s been harder and harder for me to be genuinely happy.
I’m sorry this was so long, but I read your last line and this is all I have to share. Maybe I’ll put it in a separate confession.