I’ve been considering relapsing for so long it’s not even funny. I’m almost 160 Days clean, I NEED to reset the clock so badly. But I can’t. I don’t want my mom to find out. I don’t want to feel like shit anymore, I can’t handle it. I’m gonna do it at some point, I know I will. I’m too sexual, I’m too loud, I’m too much of a liar, I don’t even have the guts to come out as genderfluid to my mom because I’m scared of her reaction. But, ever since that law passed in O.C., there’s a huge chance that I’ll be fucked and outed. I’d be forced out of the closet and there’s nothing I can do about it. I *could* go to my friend’s house, he’d let me, and he joked about it. His parents are very trans-affirming. Plus, I know his mom’s number. I could go there maybe.
