It was actually weird when my mother made her accomodations towards my addictive m*********** fixation on her. Nothing like interaction or supporting it, it was more defeated acknowledgement of the problem and grudging acceptance that left unchecked it was clear it was going to get worse. But her setting rules made it an open acknowledged dynamic that my justifiable guilt and shame made it difficult to “participate” in for me. So i fought the urges as long as U could but i had warped and trained myself so deeply to m********* at every opportunity that the frustration and basic “withdrawal” behavior soon had me acting almost angrily and resentfully and i was constantly stressed and irritable. To the point where she finally said to me that i needed to accept that it would take a long time for me to adjust and i may as well get it over with. One evenimg after dinner, despite her usually bathing in the morning, she openly announced she was going to take a bath. And i did not hear the bathroom door close and could hear the water running and even the splashing sounds of her bathing. My erection at the remembered previous events of seeing her bathing was aching. But my shame left me powerless to go look much less indulge my obsession. When she came back into the living room she said she waited as long as she was willing but that the water was getting cold so she got out. I sat there unable to even look at her face to face even as my erection was obvious through my pants. We watched tv but it was so difficult to get the urge out of my head, and i was fidgety and restless sitting on the other end of the sofa from her. Finally she said my name and told me to look at her. She said she was actually proud of me for trying to fight it but that we both had to accept that it was not something that was just going to go away. That it was up to me whether I did it or not but that she was trying to help and did not want my ‘little problem” to be something that was always consuming a lot of her time. She sat there watching tv and not saying another word. I finally surrendered to my urge and began to rub myself through my pants. She was aware I was doing it but continued to watch tv. Between my clothing and the embarassment it was difficult to finish myself. Without even turning to look at me she slid her robe off her shoulders and to her waist and I began to furiously try to finish. She never once looked my direction but told me to stretch out and try to be more comfortable. But that did not accomplish the issue so again without looking she told me to open my pants and i was actually feeling my face redden and tears started running down my face, bith shame and frustration. But soon I was close and she could tell and she turned and looked me in the eye and told me to keep looking at her face and while her face was still a blank look suddently I ejaculated. It seemed to go on longer than ever before and when it stopped she closed her robe back up onto her shoulders and left to get a towel and tell me to clean up. I did so and she told me to put it away and clothes my pants back up and we wnet back to watching tv. Sadly it was not long before I was erect again and when she realized it she did not say a word just slipped her robe back to her waist and kept watching tv. Eventually I found the courage and weakness to open my pants and begin to m********* again and again she never looked or said a word except for when i was nearly there again she again told me to look her in the eye and the o***** consumed me. She immediately slipped her robe back up and i cleaned up and got my pants closed again. But i sat there silently crying at how horrible I knew theb whole thing was. She took a throw pillow and put it in her lap and told me to turn end for end and lay my head in her lap. She stroked my hair and face and told me we would get through this, it would be okay one day, but that i needed to understand that she was in control of my little problem now.
