• 2 years ago
  • 118 Views

I find great pleasure in harming small animals, anything from dogs to mice (although, I’d never touch a cat). I am aware that this isn’t morally correct, and I’m therefore afraid of sharing this with anyone in person. It gives me a great sense of power and control, especially when you let the animal try to flee. At first I would hit them with metal pipes or crush them with cinder blocks, but lately the idea of cutting them up has been very intriguing. I have acted out on this recently and honestly I feel a slight guilt. I assume this animal might have belonged to someone, as it was quite clean. I worry that the owners will seek out whoever caused the death of their dog and I do not wish for any legal trouble, really. Also they most likely spent a lot on that dog and it almost feels as if I just wasted their money. But what really hit me was something which happened last week, I was visiting some family and noticed they owned a pair of guinea pigs. The way they behaved and the sounds they made irritated me, the texture of the fur and their soft mushy bodies just made me despise them. I am unaware as of why this is. Before taking my leave I picked one up, and squeezed. It made this rapid high-pitched noise and I loved it, it’s whole body was moving trying to wriggle away I assume. Obviously I didn’t kill it, as it belonged to a family member. But the fact that I really wanted to, makes me feel guilty. In a way, I wish I didn’t feel the need to do this to animals.

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