I regret my one and only s***** experience being with another man. I was young and desperate and stupid, and I wish that I at least had the dignity and restraint to choose not to bone someone just because. But I didn’t, and now I don’t even get the chance to cope with “well at least I’m saving myself for the one I love”. I sullied myself for momentary pleasure, and I can’t hold myself to the standards I want to hold others to. I can’t look at myself the same way now. It s****. I look at my future and the best I can see for myself is “lonely uncle”. I can only hope that I, at the very least, get a chance to fight for what I believe in at some point, otherwise my existence doesn’t amount to much. Kinda wouldn’t mind going to God now but I made a promise to myself and those I love that I’d keep going so I do. I just… don’t know why.
